October 09, 2008: How to be drop dead gorgeous

The following is a little essay on how to be beautiful...

Given that it is probably better, on the whole, to be extraordinarily good-looking
than not to be we shall look into how to be beautiful today. That is, today we will
commence an investigation into how to look beautiful Most of the time, not just
today, as it is already too late to look drop-dead gorgeous today, which is a pity
but oh well. I have already learned, for instance, that you can look sexy without
looking sleazy. That is good. It is very nice that there are people who write helpful
articles like that. I am not sure, however, that I should look sexy, as I work in a
library and I am not sure that sexiness is the look I should be shooting for. Nor am
I altogether sure that I ought to be expressing my sexuality at work. I just want to
look beautiful in a modest and unostentatious way. I will ask my boss about this.
She is a kindly person and very knowledgeable about library work. You should
always consult your boss before appearing at work with stylishly alluring sensuality.
I have never paid much attention to my appearance. That is probably why I am
single at 41. I am looking into how to acquire a hassle-free, soft, kissable look,
if that turns out to be okay with my boss. Being lazy, I am hoping for effortless
beautification. Looking good can be easy, I have read so far. I am very much
encouraged to know that. And I can achieve an incredible look. This is wonderful.
I am going to discover a more beautiful me. This is too splendid for words. I can be
stunning with minimal effort. I can add glamour to my life and build my self-esteem.
This is just grand. I am so excited. I am going to learn how to be beautiful in a jiffy,
I think after several weeks of extensive reading and considerable expense. We are
going to discover what beauty products are right for me. And for you, if you look
a lot like me. Or will, after my makeover and won’t that be nice and won’t you
be lovely? And energized. And empowered. This is going to be great.