14/07: Joke | Priest's missing cock...

The priest in a small Irish village loved his chickens that he kept in the coop behind the church..

One Sunday morning before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing.

He knew about the cock fights in the village, so he decided to question his parishioners in church.

During mass, he asked his congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"

All the men stood up.

"No, no, that wasn't what I meant. Has any body seen a cock?"

All the women stood up.

"No, no, that wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"..............Half the women stood up..

"No, no, no, that wasn't what I meant. What I really really mean is has anybody seen MY cock?"

Sixteen nuns stood up..

04/07: Joke | Sordarji and his wife.

A Sordarji and his wife are traveling by car from Delhi to Mumbai.
After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to
continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice
hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and
then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a
bill for Rs. 5000/- The So rdarji explodes and demands to know why the
charge is so high.

He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly
aren't worth Rs. 5000/-.

When the clerk tells him Rs. 5000/- is the standard rate, the man
insists on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to
the Sordarji , and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized
pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband
and wife to use.

But we didn't use them", the Sordarji complains.

Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for
which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from, Hollywood and
Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

But we didn't go to any of those shows," sardarji complains again.
"Well, we have them, and you could have", the Manager replies. No
matter what facility the Manager mentions, the sardarji replies "But
we didn't use it". The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the
Sordarji finally gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to
the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when the looks at the check.

"But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for Rs.1500/."

"That's right," says the Sordarji , "I charged you Rs. 3500/- for
sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well," the Sordarji replies, "she was here, and you could have.